So instead of American Express sending me a bill, this time I got a credit.  That’s right…big company owes ME money, a cool $120, give or take some change.  Of course they don’t send you a check, though.  You have to call and ask for a refund.  But I’m not giving up free money just because I hate talking on the phone.  Oh no.  I dialed that 800 number, pressed several buttons, spoke to some machines that didn’t understand me, the whole bit.  Finally I got a very nice lady on the phone.  Very nice.  I noticed that she was a real person and I just love talking to real people, when you can get them, from the customer service department, that have brains. 

Anyway, she was happy to process my refund.  Did I need to update my address?

“Why yes,” I said.  “We just moved to Montana.”  I spelled out the street, gave her the zip code.  “Montana, that’s M-T.”

“Huh,” she said.  “Montana.  I don’t think I’ve ever talked with anyone from Montana before.  Where is Montana anyway?”

Silence from my end.  I wasn’t sure if she was serious.

“Where is Montana?”  She asked again.  Shit.  Are you kidding me?

“Um, North,” I said.  “It’s pretty much north.”

“It must be a small state,” she said.  “I can’t even think of where it would be on a map.”

I wasn’t going to say a thing, until…

“Is it a small state, then?”

“Well, no…”

“Really?”

“It’s actually the fourth biggest state.”

“Ohhhh…” she said, deflated. 

“But it has a small amount of people?” I said quickly.

“Oh, okay,” she said, happy and intelligent once again. 

My refund should be here between 1 and 2 weeks.